id like to thank hojocult for putting up this poem on the bored, i had just happened to write something along the same lines, but this one is far better, and makes my lil poem quiver, i just wanted to remember it, so im puttin it on the eternal journal, (damn im good at rhymin)

God, A Poem - by James Fenton (1983)

A nasty surprise in a sandwich,
A drawing-pin caught in your sock,
The limpest of shakes from a hand which
You'd thought would be firm as a rock,

A serious mistake in a nightie,
A grave disappointment all round
Is all that you'll get from th'Almighty,
Is all that you'll get underground.

Oh he said: "If you lay off the crumpet
I'll see you alright in the end.
Just hang on until the last trumpet.
Have faith in me, chum - I'm your friend."

But if you remind him he'll tell you:
"I'm sorry I must have been pissed -
Though your name rings a sort of a bell. You
Should have guessed that I do not exist.

"I didn't exist at Creation,
I didn't exist at the Flood,
And I won't be around for Salvation
To sort out the sheep from the cud -

"Or whatever the phrase is. The fact is
In soteriological terms
I'm a crude existential malpractice
And you are a diet of worms.

"You're a nasty surprise in a sandwich
You're a drawing-pin caught in my sock.
You're the limpest of shakes from a hand which
I'd have thought would be firm as a rock,

"You're a serious mistake in a nightie,
You're a grave disappointment all round -
That's all that you are," says th'Almighty,
"And that's all that you'll be underground."